How to be 50: How to Appear Successful

I am obsessed with Charlotte and her witty, humorous, and cynical blog, How to Be 50, about mid-life and introversion … So please enjoy her funny commentary about life in general ..

How to Be 50

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By Charlotte Latvala

By 50, you’ve figured out who you are, where you’re going, and how to get there.

Except that you haven’t. (Don’t feel bad. We at “How to be 50” are experts at being middle-aged and clueless.)

However, even if you have an empty checking account, a comatose career, and no discernible talent or ambition, you can still fake success with the best of them.

Don’t believe us? Try this:

  • Name drop. It’s a well-known fact: Celebrities only hang around with successful people. Local newscasters, third-string quarterbacks, and lawyers with cheesy TV ads count. If you’ve ever breathed the same air as one of these gods, make it known!
  • ID a couple trendy restaurants in your city and imply that you’re a regular. (“The smoked Filipino eggplant is to die for!”) A few Yelp reviews will give you all the information you need.
  • Use the word “my”…

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