Shenanigans from a Gen Xer's Perspective

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget to be kind to the one person who needs it most—ourselves. Take a moment to reflect: when was the last time you paused and showed yourself the compassion you readily offer to others?

Practicing self-compassion is often easier said than done. As an immigrant growing up in the United States, I was taught to work hard in school to earn excellent grades so I could pave the way to my dream career. Once I landed a job, I had to put in twice the effort, or more, to prove my worth. Amid this long journey from school to the workplace, the idea of being kind to myself rarely crossed my mind. Instead of showing self-compassion, I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to succeed in life and the workplace.

Surprisingly, it took a global pandemic to prompt a fundamental shift in our mental health approach and the recognition of the need for a better work-life balance. The pandemic set out as a stark reminder of the crucial role self-care plays in coping with the uncertainties, fears, and immense stress brought about by COVID-19.

Upon reflection, extending self-compassion to myself was a pivotal moment. This realization sparked a gradual transformation as I started prioritizing self-care and being kinder to myself. This shift has slowly improved my stress management and fostered a healthier work-life balance.

The Importance of Being Kind

Kindness has never been more important in today’s fast-paced and often stressful world. Here’s why being kind matters, especially in the present day, and how it’s intricately tied to self-care:

1. Happiness and Contentment: Being kind to yourself cultivates a sense of inner peace and happiness. When you tend yourself with the same kindness that you would offer a friend, you create a positive environment within.
2. Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Kindness towards oneself nurtures self-esteem and self-worth. It reaffirms your value as an individual, helping you recognize your unique qualities.
3. Resilience: Kindness equips you with strength in life’s challenges. You learn to be your own ally, offering support during tough times.
4. Better Decision-Making: When you’re kind to yourself, decision-making becomes clearer. You trust your judgment and make choices aligned with your well-being.
5. Healthier Relationships: By practicing self-kindness, you set a standard for the relationships in your life. You attract those who appreciate and respect you for who you are.

Simple Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

Having understood the importance of self-compassion, let’s explore practical steps to begin applying kindness towards ourselves.

1. Talk to Yourself Kindly: Imagine speaking to a dear friend facing a challenge. Extend the same compassionate, understanding, and non-judgmental tone to yourself.
2. Practice Gratitude: Embrace the power of gratitude. Daily, reflect on your blessings, both big and small. This practice shifts your focus to positivity and self-appreciation.
3. Forgive Yourself: Mistakes are part of being human. When you falter, forgive yourself, learn from the experience, and move forward. Avoid self-blame and guilt.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Perfection is unattainable. Set achievable goals and celebrate even the tiniest milestones. Acknowledge your efforts.
5. Prioritize Physical and Mental Health: Care for your body and mind. Try to eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise regularly. Also, don’t forget to engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation.

Additional Tips for Self-Kindness

1. Be Patient: Self-kindness is a skill that requires practice. Don’t be disheartened by occasional slips; they are part of the journey.
2. Avoid Comparisons: Each person’s journey is unique. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own path.
3. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Choose to spend time with people who uplift and empower you. Their positivity will bolster your self-esteem.

Being kind to yourself is a cornerstone of self-care. It is an act of self-love that can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember, you are your most constant companion, and treating yourself with kindness is a decisive step towards holistic well-being. So, are you ready to be kind to yourself?